Earlier today I said that I was going to come back and be brutally honest about my weight. I’ve spoken honestly about my mental health here on WP when I was blogging at A Kinder Way. I have no shame at all about my OCD diagnosis. Yet for some reason, talking honestly about my weight carries some major shame. The funny thing is…I believe that my weight problem is predominately a mental issue. A block if you will. A fear of letting go of a source of comfort (food) a fear of hurting myself (exercise) and a fear of failure (gaining the weight back).
I’ve lost weight before. A lot. I just gain it back. Every time. I’ve battled my weight all of my life. Was put on a diet when I was in grade school and I’ve never really stopped dieting since. It’s something I’ve grown to resent because I’ve always looked at my weight as the one thing holding me back in life. Yet for some reason, I’ve never been able to conquer it. That’s why I know it’s mental. It’s that damn fear.
But today, even though I’m still fearful….I’m choosing to face that fear. I’m choosing to believe that I can beat this once and for all. (And sharing it with the world here! 😉 )
I’m keeping it simple. Bare minimum. I’m done with the quick fixes (South Beach, Carb Addicts, 5:2 and more) and I’m done making excuses. I want this to be the last time I lose weight so I’m going to do this the old fashion way. I’m going to take it day by day….meal by meal and make the absolute best choices that I can make in each moment.
I’m looking at this as a gift that I can give myself. A way to show myself that I am worthy of the effort and hard work.
My FIRST goal: 25 pounds.
My Plan: Back to basics. Track my food and exercise. Stay in my calorie range. Drink my water. Eat breakfast. Practice yoga and meditation. Walk.
It’s that simple.
I’ll update in 1 month.
Thanks for Reading~