Words To Live By – Rob Liano

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I read this quote this morning and all I could do was nod my head. Yup, I thought…there ya go. Rob Liano is speaking the truth.  I have up close and personal experience with looking outside of myself for all of those things. It’s not fun and once you figure it out, the work involved in fixing it is not easy.

The best piece of advice I can give is quite simple. It’s not original or something I claim to have come up with. I think Dr.Phil was the first person I heard say it…

We teach people how to treat us. 

If we don’t see our value…our worth….it oozes from our very pores. We may as well be walking around with a huge arrow over our head pointing us out to all the asses in the land saying….

‘This one right here is ripe for the picking. She will put up with your shit and take on your issues as if they are her own. She will take what you feel like giving and say thank you…she will allow you to walk over her and she might even apologize for being lumpy under your feet.’

But you know what’s worse than all that? The battle we do internally when we don’t love, value and respect our self.  We want so desperately to be good enough…smart enough…funny enough…talented enough. We want to simply BE enough.

You are.

You just have to decide that you are. Once you’ve realized all that you are, you can begin to work on truly owning it. It’s not easy. It’s down right hard to build up the confidence it takes to change the way others look at you.

But I’ll let you in on a secret…Once I decided that I was going to love myself, respect myself and value all that I am…I stopped caring about who knew it. The people who viewed me as less than moved on. The ones who wanted to fix me….moved on. And all those voids were filled with people who valued me and treated me with respect.

When you truly value yourself there is a new arrow over your head. This one is very different though. It’s warm and inviting and makes people SEE you. Because when someone really has that self-love thing, they give off a certain energy that attracts others.  It’s just how it is. ❤

If this is something you struggle with, start small. Treat yourself the way you treat others. Be kind to yourself. Be forgiving. Be gentle. In time and with practice you will see how magnificent you are.

Happy Tuesday~

nikkisig


26 thoughts on “Words To Live By – Rob Liano

  1. This was a much needed read today, thank you! Self-love is important for finding and maintaining inner peace. And if we don’t have that, we will continue to struggle with kindness toward both ourselves and others. We do indeed teach people how to treat us, and it has unfortunately taken me a long time to set boundaries in regards to that, but posts like this inspire me to continue cultivating self-worth and self-love. Really lovely post. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I felt like I wrote this post! 😀
    I completely connected with your words and I thank you for reminding us all what is really important! ^_^
    I Love this new Flying Blog already! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nikki, this is fantastic. There are so many nuggets in here, such as deciding to love ourselves, starting small, looking inside of ourselves for worth. Good for you, and thank you. I’m working with many of these things myself. 🙂 Big smiles!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As a woman who lived in an abusive marriage, and watched as my son was also abused as a child, I have to say, that yes, we do teach people who live within the norm of behavior how to teach us. But I know I did not teach my ex to call me names, to make false accusations of me, to berate and belittle me and cause me to live in fear of what would happen next, to throw rages and things in an effort to intimidate. I also know my young son did not teach his father to berate and belittle him, to steal his childhood from him, to make him feel so not good enough he could not look anyone in the eye. Nor did he teach his father to physically abuse him, though his father certainly taught him at a young age how to keep a dirty little secret.

    I know the intent of this post, is to point out that we have to love ourselves first, and set our own boundaries. I just want to say that abuse crosses all lines, and is more sinister than I could possibly write about in this short space. I just want to say we do not always teach people how to treat us…..Sometimes they come into our lives well prepared by their own families of origin.

    The good news is that we escaped him, and neither of us has a relationship with him. After many years of hard work, we both thrive, despite his father’s best efforts. I couldn’t be prouder of the man my son has become. And my life…..I think it’s perfect. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re absolutely correct, abuse crosses all lines and breaks all rules. You’re also correct that my intention in writing this post was to talk about self love and setting boundaries in our lives. Never to belittle of lesson the pain of abuse. It’s good to read that you and your son have persevered after such a terrible situation. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I definitely agree with you Nikki. When we allow people to treat us badly, it’s partially our fault for allowing them to do so. We can put up with people sometimes but it shouldn’t be all the time.
    Also if we treat ourselves with high regards and people see that, they will treat us with high regards too…thanks for this great reminder Nikki! 😊

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