It’s that time again…time for an honest look at my last week of living a balanced and healthy life. Well it’s actually 2 weeks isn’t it? Hmm…that’s not a great sign is it?
So let’s jump in….. I did the bare minimum in the way of healthy living the first week. (The second week things took a turn for the better)
I ate breakfast every day. I drank all my water every day. I ate a healthy lunch everyday.
The rest was hit and miss. My weight is up 2 pounds but it’s that hellish time of the month for me so that’s to be expected. I’d wager that those 2 pounds will be gone after. BUT for the record I will log them.
The last couple of weeks have been stressful and crazy and I felt very much in a slump. I wasn’t blogging or being a good reader to the blogs I follow. I’ve been binge watching a show and crocheting a lot. I was worked up about the anniversary of my Dad’s death and other things I’m not going to discuss.
But the bottom line is that I made the choice not to log my calories or practice yoga or go for that walk. I own that.
The biggest thing that happened over these last two weeks has nothing to do with goals or planning or eating or any of the things I’ve talked about. It was a very eye opening moment for me….
I decided that I wanted to start writing in a journal again. So I sat there looking at a bunch of notebooks (Some quite pretty) that really just represented a bunch of half-assed attempts at journaling. I picked out a small pretty one and opened it up. The date was October 2012. I started reading and after about 5 pages I set it down and just sat there dumbfounded.
It was 4 years ago almost to the date and I was writing about all these things I wanted to accomplish. I had all these plans and there was so much passion behind my words.
The thing is…those are the same words I’m saying today. The same plans. The same hopes. The same dreams. The same goals. The same passion.
I have not accomplished any of those things.
My first thought was what a waste of time. I could be 4 years ahead of the game right now had I started then. It’s harder now because I have four more years of crap added on to me through weight and age and just life in general.
My first thought was that I could be where I want to be right now had I started and stuck with it.
I felt quite defeated and really really mad at myself.
Then I took a deep breath and thought…LEARN something from this!! Don’t be that girl from 4 years ago. You know better now. You know more now. You are stronger now. Don’t waste another 4 years.
So that’s were I am today. Refusing to waste another 4 years. I’m going to do this. I’m making the changes. I’ve done more in the name of healthy living in the last week than I have in the last year. I’m making the changes. Small….steady….consistent changes. I have not accomplished all my goals each week, but the ones I have, I’ve stuck to like glue. That’s how you change your life. ONE healthy choice after another, until it’s no longer a choice…it’s your life.
I’m not the girl from 4 years ago and refuse to look back 4 years from now and feel that same shame again.
The 1st BIG goal remains the same: 25 pounds. (23 to go)
But even more important I am focused on finding that perfect balance of mental, physical and emotional health. I want to be centered and peaceful. The weight loss is a side effect. I believe it will happen quite naturally when I find that balance.
This weeks goals: Yoga. Meditation. Journaling. Getting outside as much as possible. Eating breakfast. Drinking my water. Portion control.
What about you? Are you finding a healthy balance in your life?