Penguin Pointers – Help

penguinpointershelp

There are many things that people find difficult in life, but I’d venture to guess that one of the most common things people struggle with is asking for help. Let’s talk about that….

H=Help.

Asking for help is tough. It’s tough when things are going well in your life. If things are going badly it seems to make it ever harder to reach out and ask for help. Why is that?

I think it’s pride. I really think that’s all it boils down to. If we ask for help we may be perceived as weak. No one wants that.

So instead of asking for help we white knuckle it. We grin and bear it. We take one for the team. We handle our own shit. We make due or go without. We struggle. We make life harder than it has to be.

But we feel strong. Our pride is intact. We WIN!

Nope.

When trying to be all that we can be there will be moments where we must ask for help. It’s imperative that we do.  No one can do everything on their own and walk away whole. We may get there, but at what cost?

Being strong and independent are both fabulous characteristics. Wanting to make it on our own is a great goal.

But no matter how well we plan or how tough we are, eventually we are going to need help and letting our pride get in the way only hurts us and slows our progress.

Asking for help can be as simple as talking something out with a trusted friend or asking for guidance from someone who has been where you are. There it nothing weak about that. It’s smart and healthy and by lessening your load a bit, it can make following your path so much easier.

So next time you’re feeling overwhelmed be confident enough to relinquish some control and ask for a little help. Start small…dip your toe in the water and then breathe.

Thanks for Reading~

nikkisig

 


18 thoughts on “Penguin Pointers – Help

  1. All very true Nikki, it so often comes down to pride. My sister is a classic example of this. She rarely asks or accepts help yet now, with a broken right wrist, she’s discovering that it’s actually ok (and necessary sometimes) to ask for help.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree that pride is often the stumbling block but experience can cause us not to ask for help, too. When you’ve gone to “very close friends” to ask for help and heard truly weak excuses you learn not to ask again.

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    1. You are absolutely right Elizabeth. It truly stings when we put our pride aside and ask for help and get rejected. I think it’s a big part of the reason why most people stop asking for help. I know it’s why I did. So now, I’m just dipping my toe in that world. Asking for help in small ways that allow me to gain some traction and feel my way with people. See who I can trust. You made a very valid point…thank you for the comment. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  3. This is so true Nikki. Most people who refuse help have too much pride. Either they don’t want to be perceived as weak, or they don’t trust people that much-always thinking that people might expect something in return. OR they may not also want to help others so they avoid being helped. But as you’ve mentioned- everybody needs help from time to time. No man is an island! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Now I’m also thinking that perhaps some people are also just shy in sharing their problems and don’t want to burden others…or perhaps they have had unpleasant experiences getting helped before…Nonetheless, I still believe in our need to get and give help. It just makes life so much easier! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Bingo! Pride, the fear of being seen as ‘weak’ and the fear of rejection. That’s what I think it is too except, for me, I have a lot of trust issues so I always have to take that into account as well. I admit, I do not like to ask for help. No matter what it’s for, I do not like to ask anyone because I don’t want to be seen as weak and I don’t want to hear them say ”no”. When you desperately need help and you finally swallow your pride and reach out and then you hear ”Sorry but no” or ”I can’t help you”, it is soul crushing. Because it takes so much to summon up the courage just to ask, and if you’re me, you also go thru ”who do I TRUST to help me?” until I finally get the courage to ask the ONE person I think will surely help and then they say NO.

    And there’s also the fear factor, that the person you go to for help will discuss you AND your problem with other people. Trusting people is such a huge issue for me to begin with so when someone does this kind of thing it not only hurts to be told NO, but it also breaks the trust you had in that person.

    I think I’m weird, really. I am, by nature, a caregiver, a counselor, a helper, a nurturer, a peacemaker. I love to help people. But I, myself, have a very difficult time asking anyone to help me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m weird too…A contradiction. I also worry about people sharing things I share. It’s really hard to stop those feelings. I actually don’t think we should. We are allowed to protect ourselves. But if we do find someone we can trust…hello!….we need to. Great big hugs to you Kelly. ❤

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