I read this quote this morning and all I could do was nod my head. Yup, I thought…there ya go. Rob Liano is speaking the truth. I have up close and personal experience with looking outside of myself for all of those things. It’s not fun and once you figure it out, the work involved in fixing it is not easy.
The best piece of advice I can give is quite simple. It’s not original or something I claim to have come up with. I think Dr.Phil was the first person I heard say it…
We teach people how to treat us.
If we don’t see our value…our worth….it oozes from our very pores. We may as well be walking around with a huge arrow over our head pointing us out to all the asses in the land saying….
‘This one right here is ripe for the picking. She will put up with your shit and take on your issues as if they are her own. She will take what you feel like giving and say thank you…she will allow you to walk over her and she might even apologize for being lumpy under your feet.’
But you know what’s worse than all that? The battle we do internally when we don’t love, value and respect our self. We want so desperately to be good enough…smart enough…funny enough…talented enough. We want to simply BE enough.
You just have to decide that you are. Once you’ve realized all that you are, you can begin to work on truly owning it. It’s not easy. It’s down right hard to build up the confidence it takes to change the way others look at you.
But I’ll let you in on a secret…Once I decided that I was going to love myself, respect myself and value all that I am…I stopped caring about who knew it. The people who viewed me as less than moved on. The ones who wanted to fix me….moved on. And all those voids were filled with people who valued me and treated me with respect.
When you truly value yourself there is a new arrow over your head. This one is very different though. It’s warm and inviting and makes people SEE you. Because when someone really has that self-love thing, they give off a certain energy that attracts others. It’s just how it is.
If this is something you struggle with, start small. Treat yourself the way you treat others. Be kind to yourself. Be forgiving. Be gentle. In time and with practice you will see how magnificent you are.
(Originally posted on Flying Through Water in October 2016)