I seem to have misplaced my Zen. My happy, peaceful, gently motivating, sweet, sweet, Zen. You see…I’ve got this burning, burning, yearning feelin inside me….Ooh, deep inside me. To get it back.
So what does Zen mean to me? It means to be in balance. To feel fulfilled while still growing and changing. To be content in my skin…to be plugged into the present, while striving to be the Penguin I know I can be. It’s a fine line. A hard one to navigate.
It’s tough to be happy in the midst of mental chaos, anxiety, change or worse yet (for me) the feeling of being stagnant. Eh. Stagnant.I just can’t stand that feeling of making no progress. It’s almost worse than moving backwards for me. It brings on guilt and feelings or indecisiveness which is something that I dislike in myself.
Last night we were sitting outside enjoying the Spring weather and I was telling Steve how I was feeling. He looked at me and simply said…You need to focus on getting your Zen back.
He could see that I had lost my way. I wasn’t able to focus because I was too busy questioning everything that I know I want. I was too busy beating myself up for not being further along or for things that are out of my control. (Control is a biggie for me and totally not my kinda Zen 😉 )
Letting go of the things I don’t have control over is vital to my happiness…probably true for everyone right? But I also need to cut myself some slack and understand that I’m a work in progress and that’s ok.
I don’t have to have it all figure out (and neither do you) to move forward. I can take leaps, one at a time…gain my bearings and then leap again.
I can start without seeing the finish line.
THAT is what I’ve lost sight of. I’ve gotten so tied up in the hows and whys…that I’ve forgotten that I am clever enough to find my way without a mental GPS. I had lost my fluidity.
Sometimes when we want so badly to make a change or to inspire change, we start to doubt our own worth. The truth is, we are all valuable. We all have something to contribute. It doesn’t take perfection to share your voice…it’s takes honesty, heart, a bit of humility and a whole bunch of courage.
Then you choose a direction…and move. It’s not easy…it’s simple…but not easy. We just have to be brave enough…to trust in ourselves enough…to move in the direction that speaks to us. It’s all we can do…and as I’ve said many, many times, the alternative is not a option for me. Settling for what is…is not an option for me. So I choose to move.
How about you?
Thanks for reading~