Forgiveness has always been a weird thing for me. I consider myself to be a sensitive, caring, compassionate and bright woman. I understand that people make mistakes, bad things happen and I know I’ll be let down. If a person apologizes to me….and I feel that it is sincere…I am quick to forgive. That part is not my issue. The issue for me comes in when someone doesn’t apologize. This is something I genuinely struggle with.
The definition of ‘To Forgive’ is: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone) : to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)
In therapy my councilor said this about forgiveness: As a mental health professional, I see forgiveness as a way to relieve mental anguish at it’s source.
My friend (and fellow blogger) Debbie from the Forgiving Connects speaks about forgiveness in a way I’ve just never heard before. I don’t know how she does it….how she is…well….so forgiving in such a deep and fundamental way. Her ability to see the opportunity for forgiveness in most situation and how willing she is to embrace it is pretty mind blowing.
As most of you know I do a weekly draw from 4 decks of cards to help set my intentions for the week. One set is called ‘Messages From Your Animal Spirit‘ by Steven Farmer
This week I pulled the Honeybee
This set of cards comes with a book for a more detailed explanation. Here is a bit of what he wrote about forgiveness:
Forgiveness requires that you first acknowledge and accept responsibility for your judgements, rather than pretending they don’t exist or professing to always sustain a nonjudgmental attitude. The next step is to release those judgements.
Huh. Well that is a very different way to look at forgiveness for me. Now I know that Debbie is shaking her head and smiling. I know she gets this. She may even be saying to herself…Nikki, I forgive you for not listening to me over the last year while I explained this practice and how it works hand and hand with judgement you knuckle head. Except Debbie is far to sweet to ever call me a knuckle head! 😉
The book also suggests an exercise to take part in over the week. Focusing in on someone you need to forgive and how to utilize your judgements about them or the situation to in fact…forgive.
I will be practicing this new tool and I think for the first time in my life I finally get forgiveness on a much deeper level. I’m certain this takes practice and a whole boat load of self-forgiveness too, but I know it will be worth it. Even doing the exercise one time relieved so much negativity inside of me. I can only image with practice that a lightness will fill those spots of negativity I’ve been holding on to.
All this from a honeybee. ❤
In deep respect for my friend Debbie….I am Nikki and I forgive.
***This is my submission to Debbie’s Forgiving Friday prompt.