Forgiveness

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Forgiveness has always been a weird thing for me. I consider myself to be a sensitive, caring, compassionate and bright woman. I understand that people make mistakes, bad things happen and I know I’ll be let down. If a person apologizes to me….and I feel that it is sincere…I am quick to forgive.  That part is not my issue.  The issue for me comes in when someone doesn’t apologize.  This is something I genuinely struggle with.

The definition of ‘To Forgive’ is:  to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone) : to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)

In therapy my councilor said this about forgiveness: As a mental health professional, I see forgiveness as a way to relieve mental anguish at it’s source. 

My friend (and fellow blogger) Debbie from the Forgiving Connects speaks about forgiveness in a way I’ve just never heard before. I don’t know how she does it….how she is…well….so forgiving in such a deep and fundamental way.  Her ability to see the opportunity for forgiveness in most situation and how willing she is to embrace it is pretty mind blowing.

Well…

As most of you know I do a weekly draw from 4 decks of cards to help set my intentions for the week. One set is called ‘Messages From Your Animal Spirit‘ by Steven Farmer

This week I pulled the Honeybee

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This set of cards comes with a book for a more detailed explanation. Here is a bit of what he wrote about forgiveness:

Forgiveness requires that you first acknowledge and accept responsibility for your judgements, rather than pretending they don’t exist or professing to always sustain a nonjudgmental attitude. The next step is to release those judgements. 

Huh. Well that is a very different way to look at forgiveness for me. Now I know that Debbie is shaking her head and smiling. I know she gets this. She may even be saying to herself…Nikki, I forgive you for not listening to me over the last year while I explained this practice and how it works hand and hand with judgement you knuckle head.  Except Debbie is far to sweet to ever call me a knuckle head! 😉

The book also suggests an exercise to take part in over the week.  Focusing in on someone you need to forgive and how to utilize your judgements about them or the situation to in fact…forgive.

I will be practicing this new tool and I think for the first time in my life I finally get forgiveness on a much deeper level.  I’m certain this takes practice and a whole boat load of self-forgiveness too, but I know it will be worth it.  Even doing the exercise one time relieved so much negativity inside of me. I can only image with practice that a lightness will fill those spots of negativity I’ve been holding on to.

All this from a honeybee. ❤

In deep respect for my friend Debbie….I am Nikki and I forgive. 

nikkibluesig

***This is my submission to Debbie’s Forgiving Friday prompt.


28 thoughts on “Forgiveness

  1. That is an interesting way at looking at it. I’m sure that it is a process. I once read that holding on to the unforgiveness (or animosity, or resentment) only hurts you. The person it is against doesn’t even know about it and is merrily going on about their life. But again, I’m sure that it is a process. I’m sure that as you continue feeling free of the negativity that you will be filling those spaces with that.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “If a person apologizes to me….and I feel that it is sincere…I am quick to forgive.  That part is not my issue.  The issue for me comes in when someone doesn’t apologize.  This is something I genuinely struggle with.”

    That’s me in a nutshell.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. The way I see it is that forgiveness is something that you do for yourself. Otherwise, you would holding onto resentment that can fester into other things and even affect your health.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Nikki! Ive been MIA but have returned and I am again attracted to all of your posts! And I also noticed something so I have a question: you put a “flying through water” mark on all of your photos. I’ve wondered about blogging and pictures and quotes and copyrights. I mean I am not profiting off of anything right now of course. No ads. Nothing. But Do you have any advice on when/how one should worry about going about that type of thing?

    Like

    1. I got caught up on my own question and forgot to say that the whole reason I am commenting here is because I read this post multiple times out of recognition and empathy which is why I Even noticed and thought to ask for your advice. 👍

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi! Welcome back! 🙂 I put my blog name on all my graphics because I make them and a lot of the graphics I use here and on Instagram are my own photographs so if someone where to use them I would want my blogs name on them. It’s so easy to just click and save anything you find online so…it just makes sense to me to tag them with my blog name. I always give credit to anyone whose quote I use and if I can’t find an author I quote it as unknown. ❤ Thanks for being here and for your comments! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh my God. Nikki. I am so touched. I almost started crying. You are so courageous. I acknowledge you greatly for your openness to forgive, even if you’re not sure how to do it. My spiritual teacher J-R says “The willingness to do gives the ability to do.” I find that to be sooo true.

    I am honored and blessed to use this for Forgiving Fridays tomorrow. And I would be honored to support you in your forgiveness too! You are amazing.

    You are so loved, do you know that Nikki? ❤
    Yeah!
    My name is Debbie and I forgive,
    Love and blessings,
    Debbie

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love this! ‘The willingness to do gives the ability to do.’ That is just wonderful!! I’m glad you like the post Debbie. When I read the description of the honeybee card I said to Steve….I think I may understand some of the things Debbie has said on a deeper level now! 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  6. I also used to be quite ‘miffed’ when people don’t apologise. But, here’s the thing. That’s just the ego wanting to be stroked and proved right. Under the ego’s watchful eye, we think our way is the right way, the only way and that all other ways are wrong; therefore people should apologise when they do things ‘wrong’, right?. But there is no right or wrong, just different. My brother in law used to say to me “You ain’t all that!” and it makes me smile, because it’s so true. Who am I to say what’s right or wrong. I hope this has helped. I write about this on my blog – go take a look. Bless you. Anita.

    Liked by 1 person

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