I Need A Kinder Way


For the last 4 years of my life, I’ve been searching for something. I had no idea what that something was.  It took me about a year of doing absolutely nothing but feeling sorry for myself to even begin the internal work that I need to do.  I really had no idea where to start.  I had had my role in life, in our family, in the world for 40 years and I had no way of knowing how to find a new role when our son no longer needed a full-time mom. I felt purposeless.

My life changed when I bought the book ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ by the phenomenal Louise Hay. I didn’t know what to do with the powerful message but I knew it resonated with me. I knew that while reading that book something shifted inside of me.

After a year of searching for my place and trying to figure out what I wanted for this part of my life, writing became the clear and prominent passion that churned in my tummy.

I started this blog after months of thought. I loved the idea of a Kinder life.  I feel like kindness….both outward and inward is the key to living an exceptional and happy life.

Over the next year, I found an amazing community of writers, artists, photographers….humans!  I felt connected and like I had found my tribe.

Then ego got in the way. I started believing that having a massive blog with loads of followers was the key to my purpose! I forgot all about writing my book….I still talked about it, but I never worked on it. I thought blogging multiple times a day about lots of different topics would make me feel fulfilled.

It did not.

So instead of slowing down and taking a breath….I started a new blog. Flying Through Water. I felt that A Kinder Way was holding me back. I know now that I was holding me back.  My ego was holding me back. But at the time I could not see that.

I can happily say that with the encouragement of several you and a little nagging voice in the back of my mind….I just put A Kinder Way on hold. Set the blog to private instead of letting it go completely and then I jumped into the pool of a creating a new blog.

I loved the idea and I enjoyed the process of starting fresh.  But when we don’t learn from our experiences…we keep experiencing the same lesson over and over until we get it.  Another year passed.

My purpose…still not found.

I recently wrote on FTW about pulling back from blogging to work on my book….and that is what I did. Then one day about 2 months ago I received an email letting me know that akinderway.com was going to expire soon.  I remember a feeling sweeping over me when I read that email.  I knew that there was no way I was letting go of that domain. A Kinder Way is my baby. I worked tirelessly on the concept and there was no way I could say goodbye to it.

Steve and I talked about it and I shared my regret of having ever stopped blogging here. I told him I wanted to go back to A Kinder Way but I feared looking flakey and that my blogging tribe would wonder what my deal was. I feared looking like a fake and that I would lose any chance of seeming authentic. That people would judge me and think I was silly. (Steve’s response was pretty much…’Who cares what anyone thinks? This is your life and we know the truth so follow your passion!’

And then it hit me.

I need A Kinder Way.

I still need to learn how to practice self-care, self-love, self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, self-awareness, self-confidence….self-KINDNESS!

Sometimes it takes a very long time and a lot of trial and error to find our way. Flying Through Water was fun! It had its purpose, but as I’ve traveled down the road to self-discovery all roads have led me back to A Kinder Way and after a long year away, I am happy to be home.

I hope you’ll join me!

Thanks for Reading~


If you are not following A Kinder Way I hope you will pop over and see if it resonates with you. I will be adding content each day….some old…some new…..sort of like unpacking boxes and buying new decor for a home. 🙂 I will also update this week on our physical home situation…ALL IS GOOD!

27 thoughts on “I Need A Kinder Way

  1. You are an amazing human, Nikki, and I am happy your husband had that response. It doesn’t matter what other people think, what matters is that we follow our heart and feed our soul with things that bring us happiness and purpose. I love this post so much and appreciate your honesty and inspiration! I am now following A Kinder Way, and am looking forward to what is to come!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Blogging is a one.
    Life is too.

    Lessons repeat until we get it..

    Eventually we do…
    Thank you for your honest share. I love both your blogs, but i get it that bligging is tough and i could not maintain two. I cant ecen handle one, i limited mysekf to twice a week and i feel so better for it.

    Welcome back a kinder away.. all the best with Nikki.. regards bella

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Woooooooooooo hoooooooooo!!! Nikki you DID IT! I am so excited. I’m not sure if I need to follow your blog again. If yes, I will do that once I’m done with this comment. YES YES YES! ❤

    I'd be honored for you to contribute this post to Forgiving Fridays. All you need to do is include a pingback to my post & #ForgivingFridays in your tags. What a shining example of standing forward in Self-Forgiveness. I love you NIKKI!

    You even are giving me ideas for what I want to blog about on Friday. Thank you Nikki!!

    Blessings to your next steps, your book, and being kind to yourself, my friend. ~Debbie

    ps – here's the link to my blog post if helpful: https://forgivingconnects.com/2017/09/08/todays-forgiving-fridays-acceptance-and-a-surprise/

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for sharing about your striving, your inner process, your struggle, and making changes along the way. It is so helpful to me in my struggle to not isolate. When I hear that someone also wrestles with the same issues as I do, it makes me feel a bit more “normal” (I use that term very loosely). ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sounds like you finally found your way. So happy for you. Sometimes life does that to us, no matter how many bumps and bruises we experience along the way, we finally figure it out and get there. I myself have been debating on making changes to my blog even considered the idea of deleting the blog I have now, and starting a new one. More for reasons of being organized though etc and not so much because of my blog itself or my experience. I don;t think I will be deleting though. Just need to get myself a lot more organized haha.

    I followed “A kinder way” and excited to see what you come up with as you continue your journey there. Take care 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that once we put the time and thought into a blog it’s hard to delete it. I regretted the change pretty quickly. It was DUH moment for me. I was frustrated with myself….not the blog and I let ego get in the way. It was a good lesson. 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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